Volume 2, Issue 18 
The
week of December 3rd, 2007
Congratulations on your engagement from the editors and advertisers of swartzcreekweek.com. We wish you luck in the planning of your most special day and offer our guidance and services to assist you in coordinating this very important event in your life.
The following guides have been presented to help you as you plan and organize your event. Copy the various sections to your word processing program to print out. Compile a file folder with all of your wedding information in one place.
Finishing Touches
Here are a few ideas to enhance the over all effect as you share your special day with family and friends.
* At the reception instead of using the normal guest sign in book, provide a copy of Bartlett's Wedding Thoughts. Each page has a poem or quotation with additional room on the page for guest to write their own special wishes to the bride and groom. This makes a wonderful keepsake. Don't worry about addresses. If they are at your wedding you have their address from the invitation list.
* At the reception provide for your guests comfort by placing an amenities basket in both the men's and women's restrooms. Place a small sign inviting your guests to use as needed with the compliments of the bride and groom. Ideas for basket contents include a small sewing kit, safety pins, perfume, body spray, breath mints, antacid tablets, aspirin, band aids, tampons etc..
Wedding Planning Calendar
Staying on track for your wedding starts with planning and good planning starts with a calendar of events. The calendar below provides a clear outline for making choices and the dates before your wedding they need to be made by.
9-18 Months Before
*Chose the type of wedding you will have, date, time and theme.
*Discuss the budget and who will pay for what.
*Consider hiring a wedding consultant.
*Make arrangements with your officiator.
*Reserve the wedding and reception locations.
*Reserve any special secondary photographic locations.
*Select your wedding dress, veil and accessories.
*Choose the bridesmaids, groomsmen, ushers and honored positions.
*Have your formal black and white photo taken for announcements.
*Send announcements of your engagement to your fiancé's and your local and hometown newspapers.
*Meet with the florist, photographer, caterer, videographer, and DJ or entertainment to discuss budgets and options.
*Discuss the guest list with fiancé and families.
*Contact rental coordinator for equipment reservations.
*Discuss honeymoon and reservations. (Traditionally the groom makes all the honeymoon arrangements.)
*Arrange for time off work if necessary.
*Buy a wedding planner and envelopes to store brochures and notes. Develop record keeping system for invitations, gifts, and thank-you notes.
*Order dress and accessories.
*Order bridesmaid's dresses, shoes, and accessories.
6-9 Months Before
*Plan reception music.
*Plan new living arrangements and home furnishings.
*Select and register wedding gifts and patterns.
*Select color scheme.
*Contact men's formal wear for men's attire.
*Have parents select attire.
*Order invitations, announcements, programs, napkins, matchbooks, and personal stationary.
*Arrange for physical examinations, dental appointments.
*Order unity candles. (Custom unity candles can take 6 months)
3-6 Months Before
*Choose and order wedding bands and engraving.
*Order wedding and groom's cakes.
*Check state/county marriage license requirements.
*Plan ceremony, reception, menus, master of ceremonies, music, and timetables.
*Plan rehearsal dinner, and bridesmaid's luncheon.
*Complete guest list, address and mail invitations.
*Make arrangements for lodging information for out of town guests.
*Purchase gifts for attendants and groom.
*Plan reception seating if required.
*Choose and tryout hairstyle for wedding.
Wedding Dress Tips
Did you know wedding dresses have model years just like cars? While the latest model has the latest price many bridal shops have designer dresses from a year or two ago with deep discounts. The reason? Bridal shops order dresses to show as samples so brides can see the real dress before they order. At the end of the season they may not have a bride that fits the size of the sample dress so it goes into stock. Since the designer no longer makes that exact dress the following year no more can be ordered and the bridal shop looks to sell there sample at a greatly reduced rate. If you are the same size as the sample dresses the bridal shop is showing you ask to see there discontinued stock. You may find a jewel of a designer dress at a fraction of the cost.
Here are some handy do's and don'ts to know about shopping for that perfect wedding dress.
Do
Take the page from the magazine with the picture of the dress you want to the bridal shop. If you have removed the page from the magazine note the magazine name and issue date for reference purposes.
Don't
Order a dress you have not actually seen. The bridal shop should have a sample of the dress you want so you can examine all of the intricate details of the dress. Ordering a dress you haven't seen is like receiving a box of chocolates, you never now what you are going to get.
Do
Be sure to ask about the stores alteration policy before you make your decision. A custom fit for your dress is just as important as the style and detail. Most stores charge for this service, since they must employ an expert seamstress. This adds additional cost for the store.
Don't
Rush to accept an all inclusive price, free headdress, veil or petticoats. The level of service is often reduced by the amount of the "free" extras in the package. Beware of package deals. Ask questions about the level of service with your dress and know the stores policies before inquiring about packages.
Do
Make your deposit, payments and final purchase with a credit card. Unlike checks, debit cards or cash if the dress is not delivered or problems arise you can contact the bank that issued the card for a refund. This appears as a chargeback to the store and is a good motivator to help resolve issues.
Don't
Buy your dress at one of those "hotel" bridal sales unless the seller has a bridal shop within a distance you are willing to drive to. Traveling shows are typically cash and carry, no service, no alterations, no one to get a hold of if there is a problem with the dress. If alterations are required you may find the cost much higher for a dress you carry in than the cost for a dress purchased thru your local bridal shop.
Do
Set a budget for you wedding dress, veil, headdress, petticoats, shoes, etc. before you go shopping. Be prepared to buy should you find your dream dress. The average wedding dress has an average cost of $700-$800. Although they can range from $300-$3500 and more. Be prepared, some bridal shops require up to a 50% non-refundable deposit at the time you order your dress.
Don't
Bring along children! A bridal shop is either boring or overly exciting to children. Dealing with children that are cranky or running about will not help in your decision making process. Take this time for yourself. Its your day, your dress, your decision, enjoy.
Do
Begin your shopping early. Many bridal shops encourage you to order your dress no less than 16 weeks before the big event. This allows time for custom orders, fittings and alterations. This is the one dress you do not want to wait till the last minute to purchase.
Don't
Bring the whole band. The old adage "too many cooks spoil the broth" applies here. Select no more than 2 people to join you at the bridal shop. Too many opinions only leads to confusion and controversy. If you need anyone's opinion beside your own chose your closest friends. Better still pick one trusted friend for advice and leave it at that.
Do
Always check the manufacturers sizing chart for each dress. Have your current measurements with you and select the dress size based on your largest measurement. Your dress can be altered to fit and its much easier and safer to take the dress in here and there than to try and let it out and run out of fabric.
About Fabric Samples
Before the flowers, photos, reception decorations, the bridesmaid's dresses and shoes, even before the wedding dress we start with fabric. As you shop be sure to acquire sample swatches of your fabrics in your colors. Place them in your wedding organizer and be prepared to hand out small samples to your various vendors to insure color matching. Below is a list of a few of the people that may need them to insure color coordination on your special day.
*Florist - To color match all of your flowers.
*Cake Decorator - To color match icing and decorations.
*Shoe Store - To color match dyes for shoes.
*Decorator - To color match decorations at the ceremony and reception.
*Caterer - To color match table ware and linens.
*Tuxedo Shop - To color match the Groom and groomsmen's wardrobe.
*Invitation and Stationary Shop - To color match all paper products.
*Photographer - To insure correct color balance in prints.
*Gift Shop - To color match selected gifts in your registry.
*Bridal Boutique - To color match dresses and accessories.
Who Does What
Bridal Party Duties
Maid or Matron of Honor _________________________ Phone:______________
A maid of honor is single and a matron of honor is married. She is at least 18 years or age (the minimum age to sign legal documents). She helps select bridal party attire and coordinates the bridesmaids. Helps address invitations and plans the shower. Helps the bride dress and finish packing on the wedding day. During the ceremony, stands next to the bride, holds grooms ring and brides bouquet. Adjusts brides veil and train and signs the marriage license. Stands next to the Groom in the receiving line. May offer a toast at the reception. Helps the bride change into her going away clothes. Takes care of storing the wedding dress and may deposit gift checks or look after wedding presents while the couple is on their honeymoon.
Bridesmaids _________________________ Phone:_______________
_________________________ Phone:_______________
_________________________ Phone:_______________
_________________________ Phone:_______________
_________________________ Phone:_______________
_________________________ Phone:_______________
Offer to do errands for the bride and help address invitations before the wedding. Pay for attire and attend fittings. Participate in bridal shower. Attend rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. May assist in caring for the flower girl or ring bearer before the ceremony. March down the isle during the processional, may stand in the receiving line. Sit alternately with ushers at the bridal table. Dance with ushers during the reception.
Best Man _________________________ Phone:_______________
At least age 18 (the minimum age to sign legal documents). Makes arrangements for the bachelor dinner. Often assists with hotel arrangements for groom's family and out of town guests. Confirms honeymoon arrangements and provides groom's transportation to the ceremony and to the reception. Confirms Usher's and groomsmen's duties. Helps the groom pack the car for the couple's getaway. During the ceremony, signs the marriage license, holds the ceremony official's fee and bride's ring. Offers the first toast at the reception and sits at the bride's right at the head table. Dances with the bride, maid/matron of honor and bridesmaids and reads congratulatory telegrams. Returns all of the men's rental attire to the tux shop.
Groomsman and Ushers _________________________ Phone:_______________
_________________________ Phone:_______________
_________________________ Phone:_______________
_________________________ Phone:_______________
_________________________ Phone:_______________
_________________________ Phone:_______________
Assist groom with errands, bachelor party, and seating lists before the wedding. Responsible for clothing rentals and lodging, attending rehearsal and rehearsal dinner and arriving early at the wedding site. Escort guests to there seats, seating friends and family of the bride on the left, of the groom on the right. Seat the groom's parents and mother of the bride. Pull out the runner as the bridal march begins and pull it back at the end. March in the processional, and escort the bridesmaids at the end of the ceremony. May escort bride and groom's family out of the church, and signal each aisle of guests to exit. Pack and coordinate the get away car (if allowed). Should be able to give directions to the church and reception hall. Provide bridesmaids with transportation and dancing partners at the reception.
The Groom's Parents _________________________ Phone:________________
Seated just prior to the mother of the bride at the ceremony. Traditionally host the rehearsal dinner. They stand in the receiving line. Often pay for the liquor and bar service at the reception.
The Bride's Parents __________________________ Phone:_______________
Traditionally, the father of the bride pays for the wedding and reception although it's more often a shared expense with the bride and groom and the groom's family. The father of the bride escorts his daughter down the aisle and stands next to the mother of the bride in the receiving line. Toasts the couple at the rehearsal dinner. Dances with his daughter after her first dance with the groom. The mother of the bride is the last person to be seated before the ceremony and the first to be escorted to the receiving line following the bride and groom. Is prepared to pass along gift and registry ideas to guests. She assists in compiling the guest list and may accompany the bride when shopping for her gown.
Child Attendants
When including children select them carefully. Include them in the rehearsal, provide a baby-sitter, seat their parents on the aisle, allow them to back out if overcome with nerves, and be sure to give them a very special gift for their important role in your wedding.
Flower Girl __________________________ Phone:________________
Immediately precedes the bride. Carries a basket of flower pedals to sprinkle on the brides path, symbolizing the beautiful path ahead.
Ring Bearer __________________________ Phone:________________
Precedes either the flower girl or the bride. Carries a pillow with the symbolic ring. (The best man still gets the honor of presenting the real ring.)
Pages or Train Bearers __________________________ Phone:________________
__________________________ Phone:________________
For a very formal wedding and extremely long veils two to four children may carry the veil-train down the aisle.
Candle Lighters __________________________ Phone:________________
__________________________ Phone:________________
Children form either family who light the candles just before the mother of the bride is seated.
Marriage License Requirements
Michigan Marriage Licenses
Generally speaking in Michigan both applicants must apply in person together, there are some exceptions to this rule given special conditions. However if you are both healthy, and mobile you will be required to show up together.
State of Michigan residents can obtain a license from the county clerks office in the county where at least one of the applicants resides. The license may be used in any of Michigan's 83 counties. Non-Michigan resident applicants must apply for their license at the county clerks office in the county where they will be married.
Both applicants must have attained the age of 18 years by the date of application to obtain a license. Those applicants having reached the age of 16 years may obtain a license only where both applicants are at least 16 years old and have parental or guardian consent respectfully. Parent or guardian consent generally speaking must be provided in person, however exceptions to this rule may be made given special conditions.
The following original identification is required from the applicants; birth certificate, driver's license, or state issued identification card for both applicants.
Should either applicant have been married previously, you may be required to provide a legal copy of proof of dissolution of the previous marriage.
While no medical examinations are now required, the county clerk will provide health information to the applicants when the license is applied for.
In general there is a 3 day waiting period however check with the specific county where you apply.
Upon issuance of the license it is valid for 33 days from the date of issuance and including that date.
The current cost of a marriage license is $20.00 for Michigan residents and $30.00 for non-residents. Fees are payable at the time the license is applied for.
Some county's requirements vary slightly. Be sure to contact the county clerk's office in both the county where you live and the county where you will be married.
Out of State Marriage Licenses
If you plan to be married in another state contact the county clerks office in the county of the state where you plan to be married.
Foreign Marriage Licenses
Exotic weddings have become popular of late. Saying your vows south of the border or on an island paradise can be a grand way to start a new life together. However, be prepared. License requirements, proof of identity and proof of dissolution of a previous marriage vary greatly from country to country. Do your home work. If your wedding is planned at one of the resorts contact the hotel manager and ask what is required. He should be able to direct you accordingly. If your plans are for a do it yourself wedding outside the United states contact you attorney, he should be able to put you in touch with the proper authorities. Start early. One more thing. After you have said your vows, signed your names, provided your photos and given your thumb prints you are married in that country. However, you should pay for and obtain an official copy of your marriage license translated into English while in the country where you are married. This simple process may save you hours of grief latter.
Groom's Checklist
6-9 Months Before
*Select your best man. Decide how many ushers you need (1 for every 50 guests) and select them.
*Start making out your guest list.
*Arrange visit with minister to discuss your ceremony.
*Discuss wedding expenses with fiancé and all parents.
*Discuss honeymoon plans. If traveling outside the United States make legal arrangements. (Passports, visas, inoculations, etc.)
Visit wedding gift registry with fiancé.
3-5 Months Before
*Complete guest list and give to fiancé.
*Consult with fiancé and order wedding attire for self, best man, groomsmen, ushers and fathers.
*Arrange transportation (limousines, etc) for wedding party to ceremony and reception.
*Complete honeymoon plans and buy tickets.
*Order wedding rings and engraving.
Arrange to pay for bride's bouquet and going away corsage, order boutonnieres for men, corsages for mothers.
*See your doctor for physical exams and blood test.
8-10 Weeks Before
*Plan rehearsal dinner with your parents.
*Consult with your fiancé and arrange lodging for out of town relatives, ushers and groomsmen.
*Select gifts for best man and ushers, to be given at bachelor dinner or wedding rehearsal.
*Choose bride's wedding present. Something personal, such as a watch or other piece of jewelry is traditional.
*Make sure all necessary documents are in order. (legal, insurance, financial, medical and religious)
*Give or attend bachelor party.
*Pick up wedding rings, check engraving.
*Help fiancé with thank you notes.
3 Weeks Before
*Make a date with your fiancé to get your marriage license.
*Arrange with the best man transportation from the reception to the airport or train station.
*Double check honeymoon reservations and hotel for wedding night.
2 Weeks Before
*Explain any special seating arrangements to head usher.
*Put the clergy member's or judge's fee in an envelope and give it to the best man, to be delivered after the ceremony.
*Purchase traveler's checks.
*Get your going away clothes ready so you can change after the reception.
*Pack for your honeymoon.
*Arrange to move belongings to new home.
*Remind best man, groomsmen and ushers of the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner details. Present gifts to your best man, groomsmen and ushers at rehearsal dinner.
*Arrange for rental returns.
*Be sure both your and your bride sign the wedding certificate and see it is put away in a safe place before leaving on your honeymoon.
*Have your best man send a thank you telegram to your bride's parents the next day saying how lovely both the wedding and reception were.
Tips about the toasts
Its time for your toast. Best man, maid/matron of honor, father of the bride here are some helpful tips on preparing your toast.
*Think about what makes your relationship with the bride and groom special; the way you met, the way they met, your shared interests. Is there an anecdote or sentiment that sums it all up?
*If you could make one wish for the happiness of the new couple what would it be?
*Pick only one topic for your toast. Love, commitment, relationships, friendship, etc..
*Keep your toast brief. 1-5 minutes is sufficient.
*Speak loudly and clearly and remember everyone in the room shares your sentiments and feelings.
*This is not a roast. Do not attempt off color humor. It comes off poorly.
*This is the chance to say something that means a lot to you about two people you care about.
*Write your toast down, keep it handy and practice it out loud. Become familiar with it. Practice now will save you from fumbling and rambling about at the reception.
*It's the waiting to give your toast that gets you nervous. Remind yourself that this is the warmest audience you will ever have.
*While seated, repeat the first line of your toast to yourself. When you get to your feet and the room goes silent you will be ready to start with the line you have just repeated. The balance will follow naturally.
*Remember to smile and have fun.
Honeymoon Budget
Establish a budget for your honeymoon before you go. Decide on a destination you can realistically afford. Start saving money each week to accumulate your funds. During your trip keep track of your expenses on a daily basis. If you spend less than planned use the savings to splurge a little on something else.
Expenses
Transportation
*Tickets (air, train, car, etc)............................$______________
*Airport Limo................................................$______________
*Rental Car...................................................$______________
*Taxis..........................................................$______________
*Parking.......................................................$______________
*Tolls...........................................................$______________
*Tips............................................................$______________
*Gas.............................................................$______________
Total Transportation...................................................................$_______________
Accommodations
*Room rate/day ________x ______Days........$_______________
*Extra services..............................................$_______________
*Laundry, hair dresser, etc.............................$_______________
*Tips............................................................$_______________
Total Accommodations................................................................$______________
Meals (per couple)
*Breakfast $_______/day x _____ Days..........$_______________
*Lunch $_______/day x _____ Days...........$_______________
*Dinner $_______/day x _____ Days...........$_______________
Total Meals...............................................................................$______________
Entertainment
*Sports equipment rental.................................$_______________
*Theater/Concert tickets.................................$_______________
*Admission fees, attractions, museums, etc......$_______________
*Discos/nightclubs..........................................$_______________
Total Entertainment.....................................................................$______________
Shopping...................................................................................$______________
Extras........................................................................................$______________
Emergency Fund........................................................................$______________
Total Expenditures..........................................................................$______________
Gifts for Maids and Men
It time to choose gifts for you fiancé and you bridal party. With a little thought beforehand this can be a happy and joyous time. Keep in mind the recipient' likes and dislikes and personalities as you make your selections. Choose something unique and meaningful. Personalized gifts with monograms and your wedding date can be delightful. Wrap your gifts in beautiful packaging for presentation and present your gifts with love. Your gifts and the memories they bring will be cherished for a lifetime.
If you have a creative theme to your wedding, be creative with your gifts as well. Make the gift a keepsake by monogramming it with your names and wedding date.
Ideas for Best man, groomsmen and ushers.
Key chain, crystal paper weight, engraved accessory box, pocket knife, money clip, hip flask.
Ideas for Maid/Matron of honor and bridesmaids.
Pearl earrings, pearl necklace, crystal box or vase, compact, picture frame, jewelry box, crystal ring holder, photo ceramic ornament, photo impact printed necklace, silk scarf.
Whatever your gift selection is, be it a traditional item or an original piece of art from your favorite artist make it a gift from the heart as a token of your love and appreciation.
Details to Consider
*If your wedding gown is a family heirloom remember to allow plenty of time cleaning, freshening and any alterations that need to be made.
*Select a pretty handkerchief to slip inside you bouquet or sleeve for those sentimental moments during the ceremony.
*Be sure the pack a small emergency bag for the dressing area. Items to include; pocket sewing kit, portable iron, safety pins, floral straight pins, aspirin, nail polish, hairspray, extra panty hose or nylons, etc..
*Planning an outdoor wedding? Be sure to have a supply of brightly colored umbrellas to ward rain on the day of your event. You know how it goes, if you have them you won't need them and if you don't have them....
*Remind the wedding party to gather quickly following the receiving line for the formal wedding pictures.
*It is proper to send out of town guests lodging information. Most facilities will do this for you if you provide them with a list of names and contact information.
*Don't forget to have an elegant guest register book and pen at the entrance of your ceremony and appoint one member of your wedding party to be sure it is moved to the entrance of the reception. Some guest may only attend the ceremony or the reception.
*Arrange for a close relative or friend to transport gifts that are delivered to the reception.
*Remember to have a beautifully decorated locking gift card deposit box available at the ceremony and reception sites. Appoint a close member of the family or trusted friend to transport the box.
*If you are planning on having candles be sure to appoint someone to light them just prior to the ceremony or as the starting part of your procession. Children ages 10 and up from either family can be included in the processional for this. Also consider allowing the mothers of the bride and groom to have this honor.
*Leave an itinerary of your honeymoon with contact information with a close family member. Family emergencies do happen while your on your honeymoon.
*Ask your bridesmaids to adorn the reception area with there bouquets. you'll be happy not to hold them throughout the entire celebrations.
*Select special gifts for your respective parents. Present them the morning of your wedding day.
*Send a romantic telegram to your fiancé just before the ceremony.
*Be sure to have breakfast the morning of, and a light snack just before your ceremony. You'll be glad you did. Although you may be the first persons served at the reception, between questions, congratulations and "required" kissing you may not have time to eat.
*The best time to cut the cake is immediately following the clearing of the main course from the head table and after all guests have been served their main course. Your guests for the most part remain seated and are afforded a good view of the cake cutting.
*Restrain from smashing cake in each others faces. Few people outside of clowns look good in photos with cake and frosting smeared across their faces and the dye in some icings may leave stains on wedding attire.
*Be sure to get a good nights sleep before you big day. You'll be glad you did.
*Be sure to have your gown cleaned following your wedding. While some stains may not be visible now they may yellow and become pronounced with time.
*Store your wedding gown with care. After cleaning, store in a cool dry place. When storing on a hanger have straps sewn into the waist to relieve strain on the shoulders that may cause stretching. Stuff the bodice and sleeves with tissue paper to prevent wrinkles. Wrap the entire gown in muslin and place into a long term container designed for storing garments such as a garment bag or box. These are designed to breath but keep out insects.
* Plan well, delegate tasks to dependable others, be in the moment, most of all relax and enjoy your wedding day.
Booking the Ceremony
By this time your should have agreed on your final wedding date and have coordinated an available time for both the ceremony and reception facilities. With this in mind here are a few helpful questions to ask about the ceremony facilities.
1. Do the facilities have any traditions or special rules governing your ceremony you need to know about? Can your write your own vows? Personalize your ceremony? Within what parameters?
2. Are there any time limitations on the day of your ceremony? Is there another ceremony preceding or following yours? What time can the wedding party and guest arrive? What time must they leave by?
3. Is there ample parking for all wedding party and guests? Will you need to plan car pooling?
4. Is there a lounge or other suitable area for before wedding photos of both the brides and grooms groups. Is there a comfortable secluded waiting area for the bridal party should there be any unforeseen delays?
5. Are you allowed to provide your own musician? Music selections? Soloist? What are the parameters? Who should this be coordinated with?
6. What kind of monetary obligations will there be? Are you expected to pay for the wedding ceremony services or is a donation more of the tradition? Is there a cleaning deposit? What is required to get the cleaning deposit back?
7. If your ceremony is going to be held somewhere other than a church or synagogue (i.e. a hotel, farm, resort) what are the obligations of the person performing your ceremony?
8. Is it allowed to tape record, video or take flash photos during the ceremony? If not are there facilities for this? Can the flash photos be taken in the ceremony area after the ceremony is concluded?
9. Are there any restricted areas for the videographer or photographer based on sex?( i.e. a male photographer may enter this area but a female photographer may not or the reverse.)
10. What this the main aisle length. Will you be using a runner? Does the facility provide a runner?
11. Where will your flowers be delivered? special entrance? What is the earliest time they can be delivered? Where will flowers be placed? If you are not interested in the alter flowers after the ceremony will the facility accept them for use in there next service or must they be removed? Does they facility provide candelabras, candles, unity stand? Are the provided items acceptable or do you want to rent your own?
12. Are there any special seating arrangements for close family members and friends? Any special requirements for health reasons? (i.e. being seated before guests arrive, wheel chair space, etc.) How will this be handled.
Write the answers to these questions down for each facility you interview. They will be needed for comparison and to be covered with members of the bridal party or ceremony coordinator later.
Booking the Reception
Here are a few questions to ask as you visit potential sites for your wedding reception.
1. How much is the rental fee? What is included in the fee?
2. What is the maximum occupancy for the room or area? Does it differ for a seated dinner, buffet, hors d'oeuvre or dessert reception?
3. Will the facility be shared with another group on the day of the event? How are the facilities divided? How is privacy ensured?
4. How many hours does the rental fee cover? Are there any charges for overtime? When do they begin?
5. Are there any time restrictions on when the site is available? Are there any discounts for certain times or days of the week?
6. Is a cleaning deposit required? Can this deposit be returned? Under what conditions will the cleaning deposit be returned?
7. Is there a piano or other musical instrument on the premises? Is there an additional charge for its use?
8. Does the facility have any restrictions on the type of music or content, number of musicians, or duration of music?
9. Are there any restrictions or regulations on decorations, flowers or photography?
10. Does the facility have air-conditioning for summer or adequate heat during a winter event?
11. Does the facility have an in house caterer? A preferred caterer list? Can you bring in your own caterer or family and friends? What are the liquor requirements?
12. Do you have liability insurance in case a guest is injured while at the facility?
13. Does the facility have an enclosed kitchen with adequate services? (caterers may add a surcharge when supping equipment like a stove, oven, or refrigerator.)
14. Can the site be used for the ceremony?
15. Is dancing allowed? Is there a dance floor? What is the allowed capacity of the dance floor? Where is it located?
16. What if any additional charges can you expect? (i.e. doorman, security guards, parking attendants, etc.)
17. Will the facility confirm the reservation in writing, by mail, specifying the outline of services and all details including exact room assignment?
18. What are the deposit and refund requirements?
19. Is there ample parking for all of your guests? Is there a parking charge? Can this be waived?
20. Are rooms available where the bride and groom can change into wedding attire or going away clothes.
21. Does the facility have a PA system and microphone for use? Is it included in the rental?
22. Can staging, audio, video and lighting requirements be reviewed?
23. Where is the best place to set up the reception receiving line? Where is the best place for the formal introduction of the wedding party?
24. What is the name of the facility manager? Will he or she be available on the day of the event? If not who is in charge of the facility? What is their contact information?
25. Does the facility require a security deposit? What are the requirements for its return? How long after the event will it be returned?
26. Do you provide tables and chairs? What are the table shapes? How many of each? How many persons can be seated a each?
27. Do you have a blank facility floor plan available to sketch our layout on? Does the facility have suggested or required floor plan layouts? Where will the cake, gift, and bride's tables be?
28. Are table covers and skirts available? Colors available? Are these included in the rental fee?
29. What are the colors of the facility?
Booking the Caterer
If you have decided on a catered wedding here is a helpful list of questions to ask in making you decision.
1. What is the estimated cost per person for a seated dinner? Buffet? Cocktail reception? Open bar? What is included in the cost?
2. What is the staff to guest ratio? ( for seated dinners the ratio should be 1 server for every 8 to 10 persons.)
3. Have you work at my prospective reception site previously? Can you suggest other facilities?
4. Do you have a set menu? Can this menu be altered?
5. Can you adhere to special dietary needs of some guests? (i.e. diabetic, kosher, vegetarian)
6. Do you carry liability coverage? Liquor liability?
7. Can you supply a list of references that we can contact?
8. How much advance time is needed to confirm our reservation?
9. Can we arrange to view the catering of a similar wedding reception to check food display, style of service, presentation, flow, and organization? Can we arrange to taste the suggested menu items?
10. Do you set the tables? provide table linens? Provide floral centerpieces? Coordinate music?
11. What additional charges can we expect over and above the food, beverages and rental of requested extras.
12. What is the payment policy and terms? Cash? Check? Charge? Credit cards?
13. Are the staff gratuities included in the final bill?
14. How much advance time will you need to set up?
15. Can you send a written confirmation letter including the wedding date, reception time, names of service help, tipping policy, decorating time. set up time, color scheme, selected menu and cost per person?
16. Can we see the available linens. Is there an additional cost?
17. How much food is enough? (offer a choice of two entrees for seated dinners and buffets, figure on 10 to 12 hors d'oeuvres per person.)
18. Will the hors d'oeuvres be served by staff or available buffet style?
19. How much are your overtime and cancellation costs?
20. Can you provide a ceiling on anticipated menu price increases? When can you provide a guaranteed fixed cost per person?
21. When will the cake be delivered? Will the catering staff cut the cake?
22. Can we go over placement of the head table? Raised platform or floor level? Round or rectangular?
23. How many drinks does each bottle of liquor, champagne contain? Is there an opening fee per bottle of champagne?
24. Will you feed the photographers, musicians or DJ?
25. What is the guarantee requirement for the number of guests?
26. If more guests arrive than have returned an R.S.V.P. how will this be handled?
27. When must I give a final guest count?
Get all estimates in writing; contracts should state what food and drink is to be served, how many servers will be needed, and a provision to inform the caterer of expected guests at least one week before the wedding.
Florist
Tips for heading to your florist.
1. Give your florist as much information about your event as possible.
2. Bring along swatches of fabric from the wedding dress, bridesmaids dresses, photos of the wedding dress, details about the groom's and groomsmen's attire, details about the parent's attire.
3. Discuss your wedding and reception theme.
4. If you have photos from other events floral decorations you like, bring those along as well.
5. Get all the floral descriptions in writing and sign a contract together.
6. Be sure to order a throw-away bouquet for the bouquet toss so you can keep your original.
7. Ask your florist about preserving your bridal bouquet. The flowers can be dried and matted for framing making a unique keepsake for years to come.
Photography
About 9 to 12 months before your wedding is a good time start looking for your photographer and or videographer. Some things to keep in mind when interviewing photographers include the following:
1. Do the photographs have a good mix of sharp crisp images and appropriate soft focus shots?
2. Can the studio do re-touching and special effects?
3. Does the studio provide online proofs?
4. Will the photo be digital or film?
5. Is there a charge for printed proofs?
6. How long will the photographer keep your images on file?
7. Does the quoted price include the finished album?
8. Do you feel confident with the photographer and feel that they will perform professionally, inconspicuously and deliver great pictures?
9. Does the photographer provide a good mix of shots? Pre-wedding, wedding, formals, photo journalistic, reception and family.
10. Does the photographer work from a check list to insure no pictures are missed?
11. Look for emotion in the photos.
12. Is the person showing you the photos the photographer that will shot your wedding?
13. Is the photographer interested in shooting to capture your style or working from a standard series of shots.
14. Will the photographer take extended family and friends shots at the reception? Is this included in the cost?
15. Will you receive all of your photos on CD in a high resolution format? Can you make your own prints? Is this included in the cost?
16. How many proofs can you expect?
17. Discuss costs. Work out a clear payment schedule, and obtain an itemized agreement the lists everything included in the package and the total cost.
18. Does the photographer attend the rehearsal? Is this included in the cost? Will the photographer arrive early and capture last minute details, preparations and family moments?
19. Will the photographer design your album for you? Can you assist in album design?
Gratuities and Fees
To help end the questions and confusion over gratuities and fees use this handy chart below to know how much and how pays.
The Person The Amount Who Pays
Minister, Rabbi, Priest Usually a donation ($10 and up) Groom gives the donation to the * depending on ceremony size. Ask. best man, who pays after the * ceremony.
Civil ceremony (judge, Usually a flat fee ($10 and up) Groom gives the fee to the best justice of the peace, Some judges cannot accept man, who pays after the city clerk) money. Ask. ceremony.
Ceremony assistants Sometimes covered by church fee, Ceremony host pays church fee (alter boys, sextons, ask clergy what's customary. when billed; separate fees, tips cantors, organists) ($5-$25) after service.
Florist, Photographer, 15% for driver; others tipped Ceremony hosts tip driver at baker, musicians, only for extra special service. reception site. Add other tips to limousine driver. (1%-15%) bill payments.
Caterer, club manager 1-15% for extra special service Reception hosts pay bill on hotel banquet manager only. The fee usually covers receipt. Add any special tips to bridal consultant. everything. payment.
Bartenders, waiters, 15% for bartenders and servers If included reception hosts pay waitresses, table captains. 1-2% for captains (often included tips with bill. If not right after * in catering or club bill) reception.
Powder room attendants, .50-$1 per guest, or arrange a flat If a flat fee, reception hosts pay coat room persons, parking fee with the hotel or club attendants. it with the bill. If not right after attendants. reception.
The Wedding Budget
Keeping track of expenses for your wedding can help in the decision making process. While you probably won't have be using everything listed below we have tried to provide you with a list of everything you might need.
Item Cost Who Pays
Wedding Parties
Engagement Party.................................................._____________...........__________
Bridesmaids' luncheon............................................_____________...........__________
Bachelor Party......................................................._____________...........__________
Bachelorette Party.................................................._____________...........__________
Rehearsal Dinner...................................................._____________...........__________
Out-of-town Guest's luncheon................................._____________...........__________
Wedding Coordinator.........................................._____________...........__________
Stationary
Invitations............................................................______________..........__________
Announcements....................................................______________..........__________
Thank-you Cards..................................................______________..........__________
Reply cards..........................................................______________..........__________
At-home cards......................................................______________..........__________
Stamps................................................................______________...........__________
Map, programs, calligraphy, etc.............................______________...........__________
Bridal Attire
Wedding Dress...................................................._______________..........._________
Headpiece and Vail.............................................._______________..........._________
Shoes................................................................._______________..........._________
Accessories (gloves, jewelry, etc.)........................_______________..........._________
Dresses for other wedding parties........................._______________..........._________
Undergarments..................................................._______________..........._________
Hairdresser, Make up, Manicure, etc...................._______________..........._________
Trousseau.........................................................._______________..........._________
Alterations.........................................................._______________..........._________
Photography/Videography
Formal portraits.................................................._______________..........._________
Engagement......................................................._______________..........._________
Wedding and Reception......................................_______________..........._________
Wedding Album................................................._______________..........._________
Parent's Album.................................................._______________..........._________
Extra Prints......................................................._______________..........._________
Videography of wedding and parties...................._______________..........._________
Flowers
Ceremony arrangements and garlands.................________________.........._________
Bride's bouquet.................................................________________.........._________
Groom's boutonniere.........................................________________.........._________
Bridesmaids/groomsmen....................................________________.........._________
Mother's corsages.............................................________________.........._________
Reception arrangements....................................________________.........._________
Reception
Rental of facility...............................................________________.........._________
Food/Caterer....................................................________________.........._________
Drink/Bartender................................................________________.........._________
Wedding Cake/Groom's cake.............................________________.........._________
Rental of table wares, furniture, tents, etc............________________.........._________
Place Cards......................................................________________.........._________
Tips and gratuities.............................................________________.........._________
Decorations......................................................________________.........._________
Guest Favors....................................................________________.........._________
Music
Ceremony (organist, vocalist, choir)..................._________________.........__________
Musicians........................................................_________________.........__________
Reception (band, DJ, musicians)........................_________________.........__________
Transportation
Limousine/Carriage..........................................__________________.........__________
Parking...........................................................__________________.........__________
Gifts
For your groom...............................................__________________.........._________
Maid/matron of honor......................................__________________.........._________
Bridesmaids....................................................__________________.........._________
Gift for parents...............................................__________________.........._________
Groom's Ring.................................................__________________.........._________
Best Man.......................................................__________________.........._________
Groomsmen...................................................__________________.........._________
Ushers...........................................................__________________.........._________
Fees
Church/synagogue/other location of ceremony..__________________.........__________
Officiator/officiator assistants.............................__________________.........__________
Attendants accessories/rentals..........................__________________.........__________
Miscellaneous
Birdseed/confetti/bubbles................................___________________........__________
Monogrammed napkins, matches, etc..............___________________........__________
Hotel accommodations...................................___________________........__________
Guest book and pen.......................................___________________........__________
Garters.........................................................___________________........__________
Honeymoon
Transportation..............................................___________________.........__________
Accommodations..........................................___________________.........__________
Meals..........................................................___________________.........__________
Fun Money..................................................___________________.........__________
Grand Total.......................____________________
Wedding Day Time Table
As you make out your wedding day timetable schedule each event and activity and allow sufficient time for each. The following list will help with most of the basics. Add or subtract as required for your individual plans. If the Bride and Groom will be changing clothes at the reception have someone appointed to take care of the gown and tuxedo.
1. Wake up and have breakfast..................................................______________
2. Dressing casual.....................................................................______________
3. Hair/Make up/Manicure.........................................................______________
4. Dressing for Ceremony..........................................................______________
5. Leaving for Ceremony...........................................................______________
6. Photos before ceremony........................................................______________
7. Parents/Guests arrive....................................................